If you’ve ever asked someone how they manage people, most will say, “I manage people the way I’d want to be managed.” At first, this seems fair and reasonable, built on empathy and the idea of treating others as you’d like to be treated. But if you think about it, there’s a problem. Managing this way often only satisfies one person—the manager. It assumes everyone on the team thinks and reacts like the manager, which is rarely true.
A better approach is to flip this idea: manage people the way they want to be managed. Even better, ask them directly: “How would you like to be managed?” or “How do you prefer to work with your manager to perform at your best?” These questions invite dialogue instead of dictating behavior. They show that team members’ perspectives matter and that the manager wants to help them succeed, not just enforce rules.
The key principle is simple but powerful: ask more, tell less. Talk to your team about the support they need, how they like to communicate, and what conditions help them thrive. Effective management is done with people, not imposed on them. By understanding each team member’s working style and preferences, you create an environment where people feel seen, heard, and empowered. When your team succeeds, the organization succeeds too.
